For those of you who follow my blog regularly, you're aware that I've been navigating the currents of ascension and reunion for quite some time. The transformative journey that commenced in 2002 appears to be gaining momentum once again. Despite writing serving as a lifeline, the recent shifts and challenges have temporarily halted the flow of new material. I find myself venturing into uncharted territory! Nonetheless, amidst this profound transformation, surrender and faith in the process have become paramount. Remaining surrendered has led to internal and external miracles, underscoring the significance of these principles.
When I began this blog nearly a year ago, it served as a testament to my love for the man I affectionately call my "twin flame" (though the label is inconsequential) and a declaration of my faith in God, this path, and our innate ability to transform pain into something sublime. Little did I know how I would navigate the substantial changes heading my way this year. Fate, in its guiding hand, propelled me toward a direction I always sensed was necessary, affirming what I inherently knew. Consequently, with the assistance of events seemingly coming to my aid, I ultimately ended my eight-year marriage—a decision long overdue, unrelated to my beloved. Divorce is never an easy route, especially with young children involved, but birthing something new inevitably entails pain.
One of the frequently asked questions on my blog pertains to the status of my Union and the events following my posts on Twin Flame reunion: Self-Love as the Key to Illumination (Part 1) and (Part 2). Several reasons have delayed my sharing of this part of my journey. Firstly, the enormity of events necessitated a pause, not only to act upon the guidance prompting me to embrace the new but also to believe in what I was hearing and seeing from my beloved. I held these experiences close to my heart due to the precious nature of every interaction with him over the past year. Opening up about the recent months remains challenging, especially regarding his revelations and the resurgence of long-lost dreams and hopes. Moreover, it exposes the vulnerability he evokes in me, as he holds the power to either turn my ultimate dreams into reality or crush them once again.
Empowered and content with my path and self-love practice, I acknowledge that loving myself equates to loving him. As I increasingly open myself to him, Love, and our Union (whatever that may signify), I still find moments where I wish I had invested more in self-improvement. Despite surrendering and mastering triggers, maintaining balance remains a struggle. I can only speculate about the turmoil he has endured during this period.
I've come to comprehend that the "union" is a delicate equilibrium, not only of inner masculine and feminine energies but also of the intense energy shared between twins. Sustaining it demands unwavering, eyes-wide-open participation from both parties. Trust in divine timing is crucial, and one cannot coerce the other into Union. The progress of one individual on their spiritual path often mirrors the other's. Our primary tool for effecting change lies in our spiritual growth and connection to God. Union materializes physically only when both partners attain a level of spiritual and emotional maturity, choosing to co-create their reality under the protection of the Ultimate Creator.
Since reuniting with my beloved last year, I've focused on my path, enduring prolonged silences and embracing his conflicting messages about our past, present, and future without judgment or expectations. I've ceased attempting to provide all the answers or thinking I have them. My desire is for him to feel empowered and retain his power, even in our connection. Allowing cosmic laws to operate in their own time, I trust the journey and concentrate on manifesting what is real for me, witnessing my reality reorganizing itself perfectly.
Sharing more of my story, it's crucial to understand that the happenings in my Union are nothing short of a miracle—an outcome only this divine, transformative love with its boundless creative potential can birth. Almost a decade ago, when my beloved last opened up about his feelings for me, he denied any soulmate/partner/wife love chemistry, insisting our connection was a temporary, mistaken one. Despite this revelation, our time together was marked by pursuits, passionate reunions, and a connection he claimed to be special, overwhelming, and eternal. Our interactions, whether together or apart, were filled with metaphysical, telepathic, synchronistic, and energetic events, blurring the lines between friendship and something more.
His misunderstanding stemmed from my lack of expectations for a romantic relationship. I sought the opportunity to be what we already were, without calibration or dilemmas, embracing the vast possibilities of what we could become. Despite his declaration that our connection was temporary and our reunion a "mistake," I refused to fully believe him, trusting that, with time and space, he would recognize the enduring power of our connection and love. It required immense strength to let go of my dream of a life or even a friendship with him, placing faith in the prospect of being with him again if and when destiny deemed it so. Even as I embarked on a different kind of love and partnership with my husband and family, the love I felt for my beloved continued to power my internal world.
Jump ahead nine years. After breaking his five-month silence with an email expressing overwhelming emotions and nostalgia sparked by my words, he vanished again. His words stirred a flood of thoughts and emotions in me, leading me to compose a detailed reflection on integrity, moral dilemmas, marriage, and surrender. Initially intending to share it with him, I realized it was yet another pattern I needed to break. In the past, my attempts to connect involved bombarding him with deep, spiritual emails, given my identity as a writer. However, I aimed to avoid overwhelming him this time, respecting his ability to respond adequately. Instead, inspired by his mention of surrender, I shared my journey into surrender and the realizations it brought regarding our profound connection.
Despite the lack of communication with him, a deep sense of serenity, guidance, and closeness to him and God enveloped me. I sensed something significant was unfolding. The celestial magnets seemed to be activated again, a familiar and exquisitely painful pull towards him, accompanied by clarity about the deeper purpose of our connection—reuniting lovers not only with each other but also with Source. I was convinced he felt the same pull.
Around two weeks after describing my surrender journey to him, he finally reached out online one late night. Apologizing for his prolonged absence, he expressed genuine happiness that I was writing again and acknowledged the blessings in the repetition of my emails. He shared his frustration at being unable to find words to respond adequately, desiring to encourage me to write more. He had wanted me to reflect on my words and to allow himself to hear them. Explaining his approach to avoiding mediocrity and indifference, he revealed his extensive preparation for our discussion, anticipating unexpected angles.
That night, after nearly a decade, we engaged in a lengthy conversation until dawn. The topics ranged from God and surrender to our marriages, connection, and his conversion to Islam. His initial question about my spiritual journey set the tone. He also inquired about my husband, and I briefly mentioned the challenges in our marriage without going into detail. Although I sensed my marriage was headed for separation, I refrained from pressuring him or providing unnecessary information.
He expressed appreciation for my emails, noting the similarities in our thoughts and feelings. He joked about me converting to Islam and suggested that our spiritual and emotional maturity had reached a parallel stage. He playfully mentioned "testing me" without wanting to be argumentative, emphasizing the importance of sincerity.
His caring words extended to affirming my perfection with only minor adjustments needed. He disclosed his struggles with fears, mortality, and imperfections but emphasized the empowerment he gained through surrender to God. Finding his inner chip, he said, changed everything, even transforming the question of "where is home?" from delusion to reality.
Acknowledging the changes in his worldview, he distinguished between Real Love and romantic love and Divine Love and human love. While open to a life partnership aligned with God's desires, he clarified that, as a married man, he wouldn't encourage a romantic or sexual relationship. We agreed on this point, both seeking a genuine friendship without interference in his marriage.
He spoke about his desire for a new, lighter life, needing to address certain matters before giving me his undivided attention. The chemistry between us, dismissed as nonexistent in the past, had always been there, yet he had considered our connection temporary due to a misunderstanding between sexual and spiritual chemistry.
He affirmed that God's guidance drew us together and welcomed me back with open arms, emphasizing the challenges we faced for growth and guidance to God's path. Despite my internal turmoil and potential heartache, a reassurance echoed within me: patience, time, and challenges were all part of the journey toward Union.
Comments
Post a Comment