TWIN FLAME HEALING: UNDERSTANDING THE PROCESS

 

Twin flames often go through a phase of separation, where one becomes the runner and the other the chaser. This stage, while painful for both, is an inevitable part of most twin-flame relationships.

The runner’s intentions are frequently misunderstood, with blame often cast on them for taking a different path. However, there’s much more to their perspective.

Here are 16 important things to consider:

They’re not running from you.

Lachlan Brown, founder and editor of Hack Spirit, explains:

“Twin flame relationships challenge you deeply, revealing who you truly are. When either partner lacks self-love, it becomes painfully clear, making things feel overwhelming.”

Essentially, your twin flame is running from themselves, not you. Your presence triggers issues they’re not ready to confront, such as self-love. Twin flames often help each other grow by surfacing painful, deeply buried traumas.

You likely know this firsthand, as they’ve helped you identify your past wounds. The difference between you is that you began your healing journey, while they felt overwhelmed and pulled back. Remember, this doesn’t mean they don’t love you. If you need reassurance, here are 17 signs that your twin flame does care deeply for you.

They experience intense anxiety.

Like you, your twin flame is also struggling on their spiritual path. Discovering the reality of twin flames can be overwhelming, stirring feelings of anxiety that make them hesitant to embrace this journey with you. The uncertainty of what unconditional love might mean for them only intensifies this anxiety.

These feelings signal that they still have spiritual and emotional growth to work through. Each soul must evolve independently before a union is possible. It’s not your fault you met your mirror soul during this confusing time in their life. The best approach is to focus on your growth, trusting that your paths may align again one day.

They feel overwhelmed by the connection.

Both men and women's twin flames can feel so overwhelmed by the connection that it compels them to pull away. Meeting a twin soul ignites a strong desire to stay close emotionally and physically, yet the intensity can feel beyond their control.

For the runner, this surge of emotions and desire for union can be too much to handle, leading them to step back. The intensity of your connection might feel like more than they can manage right now.

They struggle with the idea of a twin-flame union

If you’re the one actively seeking to understand your twin flame, you’re likely more awakened. Typically, twin flames don’t meet when both are equally prepared for unity. Moreover, fear can cause their egos to surface defensively.

Amaya Pryce, a writer and life coach, describes the ego as “a prickly little thing, with a hair-trigger reaction, ready to go off at a moment’s notice.” In contrast, Parker Palmer says, “The soul is like a wild animal – tough, resilient, savvy, self-sufficient, and yet exceedingly shy.”

This internal conflict within your twin flame may prevent them from accepting the idea of unity. They might fear losing their individuality in achieving oneness with you.

Where you stand depends on your current twin flame separation stage. Here are five insightful stages of twin flame separation to help you understand your journey.

They’re bound by responsibilities.

Your twin may have become the runner not because they wanted to avoid you, but because they can’t escape their responsibilities. The demands of this intense relationship may feel overwhelming.

For instance, they might live far away and be unable to change their situation right now. Or, they could have children or elderly family members to care for. Many factors may prevent your twin from fully committing. They had a life before meeting you, and responsibilities often take precedence.

Even though a spiritual union might feel like it should be a priority, life’s obligations often come first. If your twin is currently tied to these responsibilities, don’t expect immediate changes.

They’re already in a relationship or married.

If you’re puzzled by your twin flame’s involvement with someone else, think about your past. Most people have been in relationships before meeting their twin flame.

A twin flame union doesn’t mean one can’t enjoy other life experiences. We often need these experiences to grow and prepare for eventual union. The runner may find the idea of leaving their current partner uncomfortable and confusing.

While they understand their current relationships, they might struggle to grasp their connection with you. Dr. Lisa Xochitl Vallejos says the purpose of the twin flame union is “to wake you up, shake you up, and call you higher.” Your bond is about growth, not just becoming life partners.

They’re not seeking a relationship.

Due to their emotional immaturity, your twin flame might not be ready for a relationship of this magnitude. Not all twin flame connections are romantic, but the runner and chaser dynamic still applies. According to Lachlan Brown, twin flames can have different relationship types: “the life partner,” “the close friend,” “the one that got away,” or “the on-again, off-again.”

One reason your twin flame may not seek a relationship with you could be an age difference. Susan Brunton, an expert in metaphysical techniques, explains that “It takes several reincarnations before two twin flames meet in the right time and space.” This means that your current life stages or circumstances may make union in this life unattainable.

They’re struggling to understand their feelings.

Anyone who feels confused about their emotions needs time alone to process them, and your twin flame is no exception. They may not be emotionally ready or mature enough to grasp the depth of the connection between you two.

While this can be painful, it’s essential to recognize that they need space to work through their growth before they can fully appreciate the intensity of their feelings. As the chaser, your role is to understand and accept what your twin flame is going through.

At this moment, you’re likely more aware and enlightened than they are. Until balance is reached, they’ll continue to distance themselves.

They may not be your true twin flame.

You may be experiencing a standard breakup rather than a twin flame separation. The person you think is your twin flame may not share this perspective or feel the same connection because they might not be your true counterpart.

If they didn’t recognize or connect with you deeply, it might be because they’re not your mirror soul. Look for signs of a false twin flame relationship—such as a lack of intense familiarity or feeling anxious around each other. If this is the case, letting go may open you to meeting your true twin flame.

Who knows? Perhaps the energy of your true twin flame, or even your soulmate, is still waiting to align with you!

They don’t hold you responsible for their running.

Take comfort in knowing that your twin flame doesn’t blame you for their need to distance themselves. They’re undergoing intense personal changes and need to focus on self-love and development before they can even consider oneness with you.

There’s nothing you can do to alter their journey. They may not have clear reasons for running, but despite the distance, your twin flame likely still misses you.

They fear getting too close.

Your twin flame may be distancing themselves because they’re afraid of intimacy. Their fears can be conscious or unconscious and may stem from past experiences, feelings of unworthiness, abandonment issues, or low self-confidence.

These fears have nothing to do with you directly. If they doubt their worthiness or feel the connection is “too good to be true,” it’s beyond your control. Look for signs that your twin flame might eventually come back, such as feeling their presence or dreaming of them.

They need you to stop chasing.

The runner isn’t at peace about leaving. They may be experiencing what’s known as the “night of the soul”—a period of deep, personal transformation. Dealing with their own emotions is already overwhelming, so additional pressure from you can make it even harder for them.

As hard as it might be, giving them space allows them to work through their issues independently. The more you chase, the more they feel compelled to pull away. Allowing them to step back may give them the clarity they need to move forward.

They can’t stop thinking about you.

Even when they decide to distance themselves, your twin flame can’t fully escape the connection. They might find themselves constantly thinking about you, even if they don’t want to.

This connection can sometimes feel telepathic, with signs such as dreams, synchronicities, and intense feelings of love-sickness. Even if telepathy isn’t present, this constant connection is undeniable.

They’re not trying to hurt you.

Your twin flame isn’t intentionally causing you pain. Their ego may still interfere with their spiritual awakening, and their actions are likely driven by fear rather than anything you did.

While your presence may have surfaced issues they’re not ready to face, their choice to run isn’t out of malice or revenge. They’re simply overwhelmed by their journey. Practicing forgiveness and unconditional love can help navigate this challenging time.

They’re experiencing physical pain too.

Even though they chose to distance themselves, your twin flame may still be suffering. Many twin flames who become runners report feeling not only emotional but also physical pain, despite their decision to separate.

Their inner struggles manifest on multiple levels, reminding them that the connection remains, even if they try to run from it.