TWIN FLAME HEALING: UNDERSTANDING THE PROCESS

 Those on a spiritual quest can sometimes be insensitive, obsessive, and even unkind.

A small number exploit spirituality to bolster their egos and elevate themselves, all while presenting a pious facade.

This may sound harsh, but I observed this firsthand during my three years in a spiritual community.

Most individuals had good intentions, but they also carried deep-rooted emotional habits and belief systems that didn’t magically vanish upon embracing spirituality.

Despite their noble goals, they could react aggressively, passive-aggressively, and narcissistically when provoked.

After all, they were merely human.

Their thoughtless actions could easily hurt your ego. In turn, when triggered, you might also find yourself abandoning your spiritual principles.

It took me time, but eventually, I realized I needed to shift from a mindset of “me versus them” to a more compassionate, spiritual perspective.

Unkind Spiritual People

Living in a spiritual community with regular access to exceptional teachers and profound teachings felt like a dream.

However, when I fell ill with an unexplained condition, people responded based on their preconceived notions, often coming off as harsh.

For instance, the community nurse assumed I had anorexia nervosa due to my significant weight loss. With his background in treating young women with eating disorders, he felt justified in his assumption.

His perspective negatively influenced my off-site doctor and the person who accompanied me to appointments.

Together, they formed a triad focused on what they believed was my mental illness, unable to consider any other possibilities. They condescended to me, assuming I was in denial.

This misunderstanding persisted for months and was just one of many difficult encounters I faced while trying to gain weight.

On another occasion, when I inquired about missing food items from my limited diet, a Buddhist nun responded, “You need to overcome your sensitivities and desensitize yourself.”

She lacked empathy for how losing a food item felt to someone weighing just 84 pounds. Having likely learned about desensitization in her therapy work, she fixated on that as a solution to my health issues.

Her approach was not a viable treatment for the yet-to-be-diagnosed mast cell disorder I had.

These instances were just a few times spiritual individuals treated me unkindly during that fragile period in my life.

They likely believed they were helping me with their “tough love,” but what I truly needed was a medical protocol rather than misguided assumptions about my mental state.

The Tendency to Self-Absorption

To say I was self-absorbed in my health struggle would be an understatement; I was obsessed. I felt a desperate need to find the right diagnosis and treatment.

I knew I didn’t have anorexia nervosa and was frustrated by their false assumptions. I felt isolated and powerless, unable to communicate my needs or receive the help I required.

As a result, I fell into a “me versus them” mentality, convinced I was right and they were wrong.

This mindset led to numerous moments of inner turmoil, but I couldn’t express my anger. I relied on those three individuals for my limited food choices and transportation to medical appointments.

At any moment, they could have decided to cut me off.

Like them, despite my self-righteousness, I had my own deeply ingrained emotional patterns and habitual thought processes. I nurtured feelings of quiet anger, resentment, and victimhood.

Then one day, my habitual responses shifted abruptly for no clear reason.

I stormed away from the courtyard after a distressing conversation about my health. I wanted to scream, lash out, and hit someone.

Instead, I channeled those emotions into my legs as I walked up the hill to my accommodations. I paused to catch my breath and gazed at the expansive view.

At that moment, my mindset shifted unexpectedly.

I wondered, “What happened to my spiritual values of love, compassion, and tolerance?”

Taking Things Personally

Many spiritual teachings could have applied to my situation, but I was so caught up in my ego that I didn't let any of them in.

For instance, there’s a saying that the obstacle is the path.

Instead of resisting my illness, I could have accepted it for what it was. By letting go and relaxing, I might have discovered workable solutions. At the very least, I would have experienced greater inner peace.

The obstacle is indeed the path.

I could have reflected on the idea that our enemies can be our greatest spiritual teachers.

Patience, especially one that transcends the dualistic perspective of “me versus you,” is often viewed as a profound quality. The key lies in recognizing our adversaries as valuable teachers.

If I could remain patient in the face of criticism or opposition and refrain from reacting with anger, I would have advanced spiritually.

Your enemies are your greatest spiritual teachers.

I could have also embraced the notion that we are all fundamentally the same. We all seek happiness and wish to avoid suffering, yet our actions often contradict our desires, leading to the very suffering we seek to escape.

Rather than viewing my fellow practitioners as adversaries, I could have acknowledged that they, too, desired happiness. Their strong opinions may have been a way to bolster their self-esteem and confidence—an instinctual human tendency.

Likewise, I wanted my illness to resolve so I could be happy once more.

If I had recognized our commonalities instead of reacting with anger, I might have built a communication bridge that led to a more positive outcome.

We’re all the same in our pursuit of happiness and aversion to suffering.

You could probably name countless other spiritual lessons I could have absorbed if I hadn’t been so focused on defending my stance.

The Shift to Compassion

I didn’t instantaneously transform into an enlightened being.

However, the insight I gained while walking up the hill marked a significant shift in my spiritual perspective.

I began to feel compassion for those I had viewed as enemies. I recognized that I needed to change, regardless of their actions. I started to adjust my expectations of those on a spiritual path—after all, we all continue to be influenced by our human emotions and beliefs.

While my health challenges persisted, along with the negative responses from others, everything became a bit more manageable. I had shifted from a “me versus them” mentality to a sense of “us.” I considered this a significant victory.

Once my doctor prescribed antihistamines, a standard treatment for a mast cell disorder, I began to gain weight as well.