TWIN FLAME HEALING: UNDERSTANDING THE PROCESS

 

What is spirituality, and are there recognizable signs or symptoms of a spiritual awakening?

Among the many topics we discuss, spiritual awakening often stands out as the most misunderstood. Let’s clarify this concept to ensure we’re on the path to genuine spiritual awakening.

Spiritual awakening refers to an awareness of a dimension of reality that extends beyond the confines of the ego. The ego, representing our sense of “I,” typically relinquishes control during this awakening, allowing a Higher Self or Spirit to emerge.

Most people operate through archetypal, habitual patterns—the “acquired mind,” as Taoists call it, which forms from conditioning since birth. Spiritual awakening, however, signals the return of the “Original Spirit,” or what Carl Jung described as the Self, making us truly human.

Spirituality and Enlightenment Misunderstandings about spiritual awakening often stem from poorly defined terms. Philosopher Ken Wilber, in A Sociable God (2005), offers nine different definitions of spirituality. While often associated with religion, spirituality in this context goes beyond the material or physical.

Enlightenment, meanwhile, often relates to cognition and the “enlightened mind,” achieved through disciplined study of spiritual principles. However, enlightenment alone does not equate to spiritual awakening or psychological awareness.

Spiritual Awakening vs. Psychic Awakening A common misconception involves equating spiritual awakening with psychic awakening. Psychic awakening is tied to the activation of the pineal gland, allowing one to access realms beyond the three-dimensional space of “space” and “time.” In contrast, spiritual awakening is heart-centered, connecting more with psychology, emotions, and the soul.

Ego vs. Spirit The ego believes it is in control, identifying itself with possessive phrases like “I am [your name]” or “I have [job, possessions].” It is insatiable and driven by base needs, as Abraham Maslow observed in calling humans “perpetually wanting animals.”

Thankfully, within us also exists a Higher Self or Spirit that is calm, neutral, compassionate, and intuitive. While the ego actively accumulates knowledge, the Spirit simply intuits truth. The ego is always “doing,” while the Spirit resides in a state of “being.”

The Process of Spiritual Awakening We tend to identify with the ego as our primary self. However, spiritual awakening shifts this identification, as the ego gradually yields to the Spirit, refining the “lower soul” into the “higher soul,” in Taoist terms. This journey was also the aim of Jung’s individuation process. While “peak experiences” can spark temporary moments of self-transcendence, true psycho-spiritual growth unfolds over time in stages.

Common Missteps: False Signs of Spiritual Awakening Now, let’s address some common misconceptions about awakening.

Seeing Oneself as “Good” and Others as “Evil”: This belief, rooted in Western religious conditioning, can create an inflated sense of superiority. True awakening requires “shadow work”—understanding our shared humanity and ceasing to judge others.

Identifying as a “Spiritual Person”: This form of “spiritual ego” or inflation is common. Authentic spirituality includes both the material and spiritual realms and shadow work can help dissolve this limiting self-concept.

Pursuing “Love and Light”: Often taught by religious and new-age teachings, this pursuit can form a social mask or persona of being a “good person,” but it doesn’t promote real spiritual growth. True development involves addressing deep-seated emotions like fear, anger, and grief.

“Acting Nice”: This behavior, often encouraged in childhood, can indicate psychological immaturity. True maturity involves assertive actions that are not driven by seeking approval.

Believing in Personal Superiority: This ego trap often emerges in those who read spiritual texts, join spiritual groups, or adopt spiritual practices. A belief in “specialness” can signal early psychological development rather than a genuine spiritual awakening. All these signs reflect energy vampirism, where ego-driven needs mask spirituality.

True spiritual awakening brings us to a place of humility, empathy, and connection to our higher nature, without the false layers that trap us in ego-based illusions.

Be Cautious of the Spiritual Bypass

One of the greatest pitfalls on the spiritual journey is what’s known as the “spiritual bypass.” This is when we use spiritual beliefs and practices to sidestep unresolved emotional or psychological wounds, which are essential to address for genuine psycho-spiritual growth.

We often resist confronting these wounds because it involves facing the discomfort they bring, especially those rooted in childhood trauma. Almost every emotional trigger we encounter today is likely tied to past experiences. As philosopher Heidegger said, “The Dreadful has already happened.”

Many people involved in Eastern and Western spiritual practices fall into this spiritual bypass, as did I throughout much of my 30s.

10 Signs of Spiritual Awakening

Though there is no rigid “process” for spiritual awakening, there are common signs along the path. After examining false signs of awakening, let’s explore some authentic ones:

Notable Behavioral Change

True signs of spiritual awakening manifest in one’s actions. Compulsive or addictive behaviors are ego-driven, while the Spirit, already whole, doesn’t need to chase fulfillment. A sense of contentment often arises, leading to kinder, more balanced interactions.

Enhanced Emotional Wellbeing

Emotional disruption is one of the biggest obstacles to awakening. By healing past trauma, as Carl Jung called the “wounded feeling function,” we open up to deeper, genuine feelings. Over time, the mind becomes steadier, leading to fewer emotional triggers and a state of calm neutrality.

A Tendency to Slow Down and Reflect

Spiritual awakening fosters a desire for self-reflection. In a fast-paced world focused on achievement, slowing down can feel like a relief, prompting an impulse to look within and understand oneself more deeply, as the Chan Buddhists call “Stopping and Seeing.”

A Shift in Priorities and Values

As we turn inward, our values change. Instead of following external codes, we develop our ethical framework. The ego, driven by basic needs, can’t do this—only the Higher Self can, guiding us toward values like truth, beauty, and justice.

Transformation of the Inner World

Spiritual awakening shifts focus from outer concerns, like work and social status, to the inner realm of thoughts, dreams, and imagination. In Buddhism, this inner world is known as the “subtle realm,” considered more real than the everyday physical world.

Acceptance of Paradoxes

Awakening involves holding opposing truths within oneself without judgment. For example, parents might recognize both love and resentment toward their children. Embracing these opposites leads to wholeness and a more mature self.

An Inner Sense of Freedom

When the Spirit takes precedence over the ego, a deep sense of okayness arises, independent of life’s circumstances. This inner freedom, or moksha, as it’s called in Hinduism, liberates us from the ego’s constant tension.

A Commitment to Self-Honesty and Accountability

Awakening fosters a willingness to be radically honest with oneself, rejecting self-deception. As a result, personal responsibility increases, with a healthy sense of guilt arising from a genuine desire to improve, as psychotherapist David Richo explains.

A Shift in Lifestyle Choices

Another sign is a growing awareness of one’s lifestyle choices, often prioritizing ethical considerations over convenience. For example, a deeper connection to the Earth may inspire changes in one’s environmental impact.

A Feeling of Interconnectedness

The ego perceives separateness and fears loss, but the Original Spirit transcends these distinctions, recognizing the oneness of all beings. Unfettered by the ego’s game of “us versus them,” the Spirit simply exists, beyond the boundaries of space and time.