TWIN FLAME HEALING: UNDERSTANDING THE PROCESS

 

The concept of a "twin flame" is a New Age idea that characterizes an intense connection between two individuals believed to be "two halves of one whole." It's essential to note that "twin flame" is not a recognized clinical term; however, so-called twin flame relationships can often be explained using contemporary relationship terminology.

Explore further the notion of twin flames, which lacks scientific validation, including how to determine if you've encountered your twin flame and what to anticipate in a twin flame relationship.

A twin flame connection is considered a spiritual or soulful bond where two people are equally dedicated to themselves, the relationship, and each other, as explained by Angela Amias, a licensed clinical social worker and clinical director of the Institute for Trauma-Informed Relationships based in Cheyenne, Wyoming. Those identified as twin flames are believed to encourage and challenge one another in their pursuit of self-discovery and personal growth, according to Avigail Lev, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist in San Francisco and the founder and director of the Bay Area CBT Center.

"Twin flame" relationships often start with an extremely intense spark that can initially feel overwhelming for one or both individuals, says Amias. These relationships tend to deepen rapidly, creating a sense of familiarity.

In a 2016 review, brain scans revealed that intense romantic love activates the brain's "reward system," particularly regions rich in dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and, in some cases, addiction. The same study characterizes romantic love as a state that is often positive but can also be powerfully negative, similar to many addictions.

Similarly, Dr. Lev cautions that the term "twin flame" can inadvertently encourage an infatuation phase that is not conducive to healthy, long-term relationships. It can also lead to toxic relationship dynamics, such as fantasy relationships, situationships, and relationships, involving love bombing and future faking.

How Are Twin Flames Found?

The belief in twin flames suggests that these connections are predestined rather than chosen intentionally. However, this is merely a belief held by some and not a scientific concept. You still can decide how you form and maintain your relationships.

A true twin flame is said to mirror your qualities and traits, both positive and negative. Nonetheless, this does not imply that you and your twin flame will be identical, nor should either person's identity depend entirely on the other or the relationship.

According to Bonnie Scott, a licensed professional counselor supervisor based in San Antonio and the founder of Mindful Kindness Counseling, you may discover your twin flame by:

Embracing and preserving your genuine self.

Understanding yourself and your relationship triggers.

Engaging with the community.

Not waiting for perfection.

If nurtured, this type of relationship should ultimately result in a satisfying interdependent relationship, where both individuals are more powerful together and as individuals due to the relationship, says Dr. Ruan.

Signs You've Encountered Your Twin Flame

"One of the most apparent signs that you've met your twin flame is the rapid development of a deep connection and the feeling that the relationship was destined to be," says Amias.

Other signs that you've met your twin flame, according to Amias, include:

Feeling a strong inner attraction to that person.

Sensing as though you've met before or always known each other.

Experiencing the passion from the relationship spilling over into other aspects of your life.

Sharing a high level of commitment to the relationship and each other.

If you are uncertain whether someone is your supposed twin flame, Scott recommends asking yourself these questions:

Does this person support and celebrate my growth?

Are they respectful of my boundaries?

Do I have fun, and feel supported, and accepted by them?

What aspects of myself do I see reflected in this person, and are those traits necessarily positive?

Scott emphasizes that if you feel manipulated, ignored, gaslighted, or if your common ground is primarily a history of trauma, that person is not your twin flame.

Distinguishing Twin Flames from Soulmates

Although twin flames and soulmates may exhibit some similarities, such as being intense, passionate, and forming quick connections, Angela Amias points out that there are significant distinctions. Scott explains, "Twin flames are often used interchangeably with 'soulmate,' but they are generally regarded as more specific."

Scott further clarifies, "A person might have numerous soulmates, including friends, family, romantic and non-romantic partners, but typically only one twin flame, who is often perceived as a romantic partner."

Expectations in Twin Flame Connections

A twin flame relationship is believed to be an intense and deeply meaningful connection, and there are certain aspects to anticipate:

Initial volatility is common at the outset due to the rapid and intense nature of the relationship's development, which can leave individuals feeling disoriented, according to Amias.

Just like any other relationship, sustaining a twin flame connection requires hard work, involving genuine effort and commitment, notes Dr. Lev.

Conflict and its healthy resolution are typical in twin-flame connections, as both partners are committed to mutual growth and understanding. Amias emphasizes, "There's a mutual engagement in the process of reconnecting after conflict."

Twin flames do not neglect their outside relationships with friends and family. Dr. Ruan highlights that "even the most profoundly satisfying relationships do not thrive in isolation from other relationships." As the relationship progresses, twin flames should anticipate feeling secure and stable with each other, adds Amias.

For those who embrace the concept of twin flames, these connections are considered fated, but it remains the responsibility of individuals to discover their twin flame in the world, as stated by Scott and Dr. Ruan.

Scott recommends seeking relationships with people who naturally draw you in, share your interests and perspectives, and have a mutual desire for personal growth. However, she advises against placing excessive emphasis on the pursuit of perfection. Scott concludes, "A twin flame is, in the end, just a concept, and you don't want to miss out on something wonderful because you're limiting your openness."

"Ultimately, whether or not you believe in twin flames, the most effective approach to finding and maintaining a healthy partnership is to engage in personal growth and not wait for another person to complete you," she adds.