Breaking up has always been the most terrifying experience in my life. Whether it's leaving school or ending a friendship or romantic relationship, it's incredibly frustrating. It means leaving behind something familiar, and it's painful to leave a part of yourself behind. Losing the chance to create new memories is also painful. For a long time, I struggled to differentiate between surrendering and separating because I was desperately trying to maintain control, which I had already lost by leaving.
Surrendering is a passive act, relinquishing everything, even your innermost self, without any control. The essence of surrender lies in trusting a power greater than yourself. It means believing that when you let go and lean on someone, they will support you. Surrendering involves placing your faith in a higher power that will always be there for you. I realized that my fear of falling prevented me from entrusting myself to anyone else. However, I never actually fell because I was constantly holding myself back, unwilling to release.
In this article, we will explore one of the most challenging yet essential stages of the twin flame journey—the surrender phase. What is the purpose of surrender in the twin flame journey? During the surrender phase, one party (usually the one embodying feminine energy) gradually realizes that they have done everything possible and are reaching a dead end. Communication is absent, and attempts at communication are futile. The other party remains distant, while the feminine side continues to exert effort. They work tirelessly to the point where their thoughts and actions start to consume them.
At this juncture, the feminine energy begins contemplating its path and struggles to shift the focus from the twin flame to the self, albeit with difficulty. The feminine energy discovers that this process is far more challenging than anticipated. They come to realize that they have neglected their own needs and poured all their energy into their twin flame. Finally, they begin to notice that whenever they are left alone, sadness engulfs them. This experience is part of my story, but it resonates with others as well.
In the twin flame journey, surrender is not the end of the road. Often, we perceive surrender as "leaving," which creates a sense of loss. I feared disconnecting from my twin flame's emotions because I was afraid of getting lost. Consequently, I couldn't surrender my efforts and hopes to the divine system that had always supported me. However, I now understand that it is crucial to pause when stumbling and surrender to the doubts and rational concerns that plague my mind.
In the twin flame journey, surrender becomes a new phase once all the darkness has passed, and both twins start rediscovering themselves. The twin who awakened earlier begins to develop their strengths and take steps towards self-realization with greater ease. On the other hand, the other twin, who lags, might struggle with a more challenging awakening or feel trapped in depression. Both twins have different ways of confronting their darkness. The journey flows more smoothly when we transition from resistance to acceptance and surrender.
What are the signs of entering the surrender stage? I always resisted accepting that I was the "chaser" in the twin flame journey. I wanted to be the "guide" instead. But while my twin was running away, I was chasing after them, attempting to show and teach them something. I shared my realizations with my twin, but that was an inherent characteristic of being the chaser. I learned the most significant lesson in my twin flame journey: breaking my ego and realizing that I cannot force anyone to learn.
After an exhausting year, I grew tired of being the chaser. Of course, I didn't consider my efforts futile. However, due to the depletion of my knowledge and energy, I decided to turn inward. I had invested too much of my energy and had to stop out of necessity.
When I forcibly halted my efforts to nurture the masculine side, a pathway opened within me, leading to different aspects of myself. It was then that I realized the immense pressure I had been placing on myself. This realization marked the point of surrender. I began recognizing the signs of surrender.
The signs include prioritizing self-respect, avoiding recurring doubts, honoring our intuition and the divine guidance that has accompanied us, transferring our burdens to a higher power for self-protection, acknowledging that surrender is an internal process rather than giving up, experiencing the return of joy and happiness lost during the night of the soul and engaging in new activities, viewing life with a renewed perspective and a lighter heart, and understanding that accepting our worth unconditionally is the most important contribution we can make to our twin flame connection.
One of my mistakes before surrendering was harboring resentment toward my twin's ego. I believed I could fix it since it reflected my ego. However, it was egoistic to think that I had control over someone else. When I confronted my ego, I found it unbearable. It was my shadow side to overlook or try to fix things I disliked. I needed to unconditionally accept my twin flame.
My obsessive urge to teach led my twin to rely on me to do the work they should have done themselves. I would point out their mistakes, they would acknowledge them, and then move on. Identifying their errors was challenging for them. By showing them the way, I made everything easy for them.
Now, I focus solely on my journey. I no longer involve myself in their healing process. This behavior not only made them reliant on me, but it also diverted me from my personal development journey. I now understand that by doing my inner work and achieving unity within myself, I open the same door for them. However, whether they choose to walk through that door is up to them. I have stopped investing my emotions solely in them.
Surrender lies precisely between waiting and constantly trying to control the journey. Discovering this balance was not easy, but after exhaustive contemplation and nights spent pondering, I found the answer.
Everyone must fulfill their role. Lately, I have experienced great relief. I no longer forbid myself from thinking about my twin flame; instead, I pay attention to how it makes me feel. I send them positive energy and return to my center. During self-healing, our focus and energy may wander, but if we pause for a moment and take a breath, we can anchor our energy in our heart center.
The twin flame journey is a narrative of self-reconnection. We may find parallels between our own story and that of our twin flame, but true healing lies within us. Therefore, surrender involves letting go of unnecessary burdens and focusing solely on our healing journey.
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