How would you feel if your only chance at happiness and healing depended on another person? Imagine needing someone else to find your way—to be sober, happy, discover your purpose, or become a better person or parent. If they didn’t send you healing energy, your life path would remain blocked.
This is often what we impose on our twin flames or runners. We believe we possess the wisdom and power they need. If only they would listen to us, attend therapy, join that sound healing session, or visit our favorite energy healer, they’d feel better, and we could finally be together. We’re convinced we know the way to their happiness.
But picture being in a relationship where the other person, more spiritually awakened than you, constantly tells you what’s best for you. They suggest you could be better, happier, that you’re not living up to your potential. It’s off-putting, isn’t it? You know you have your guidance, and besides, they don’t have everything figured out either. Maybe you’re just not ready yet.
When we offer healing and help to those who haven’t asked for it, we’re pushing against the universe, against the flow of life. It becomes more about us than about them. But when we offer help to those who seek it, who are open to receiving it, we become angels on Earth.
People signal they’re ready for help by showing interest in healing modalities, by researching on their own, asking questions, or seeking out professionals. Complaining about their lives or sharing struggles isn’t necessarily a cry for help—it’s often a validation request. You might be surprised if you ask whether they’re looking for solutions or just need someone to listen.
When someone repeats the same patterns or hides from their problems, they’re often protecting something that isn’t ready to be healed. Even as runners, we have the patterns that serve us. Pain highlights the areas we need to work on, and it often has to become unbearable before we take a closer look.
It’s not our job to prevent our twins from experiencing their divine pain.
In the 12-step model, "rock bottom" refers to the point where an addict loses everything and is forced to recognize that their addiction is the root problem, leading them to seek help. A healer, savior, or enabler can delay this realization by keeping them from hitting rock bottom sooner.
I’m not entirely convinced people need to hit rock bottom, or that we can’t offer loving guidance and support along the way. But we cross a line when we lose ourselves in trying to prop them up—when our joy and happiness are consumed by worry for them when our dominant thought is that they are wrong and shouldn’t suffer. When we send more energy, light, and love to them than to ourselves, our faith shifts from the divine and their higher self to the other person.
It’s difficult, I know—perhaps impossible. But twin flame love calls us to place our complete faith in spirit and the divine.
(Never forget, as a 3D human, you deserve to be treated with love and respect by a healthy person who desires to love you and is willing to learn how.)
Years ago, I believed everything I read online about needing to heal to heal my twin. So I threw myself into healing—reading every book on love and attraction, attending therapy, exploring alternative healing modalities, and consulting psychics. I changed, and our relationship grew stronger, but he didn’t change in significant ways. He remained afraid of commitment, married to his work, and stuck in superficial friendships, while I slowly but steadily excelled.
I’ve been in other soul relationships where I was the more awakened one, while the other was somewhat woke, yet still lost, depressed, and living lies. My good, healing energy kept him afloat. I felt useful, needed, loved, and connected by offering this energy.
He could endure his draining job and the negative energy it brought, and I could transform him when he came home to me. He didn’t have to learn how to protect his energy or take brave steps toward change. I was there to cheer him up, brighten his day, and feed his soul.
Then, during a cord-cutting meditation, I realized I had a cord attached to him. I knew if I kept giving him my bright energy, he would stay. If I stopped, he would leave. I feared that without feeding someone my energy, I wouldn’t be loved.
But this realization forced me to question my willingness to love him despite his depression, addiction, and brokenness. Was I only lovable when I was vibing high, lovely, healing, and helping? The thought of letting that cord dissolve was terrifying because it meant facing the fear of being alone.
It wasn’t just about being alone physically—I could travel, dine, and do many things alone. It was the fear of being spiritually alone that was painful. I realized I was dependent on him and his low energy to feel needed, but that’s not love—it’s codependency.
It’s natural to enjoy helping, serving, and healing others, but we don’t need people to depend on us. Cutting cords is a theme that often comes up in twin flame hypnosis sessions, and common fears include:
Fear of being completely alone without them
Fear of never finding that kind of love again
Fear of losing telepathic abilities
Fear of missing out on their one chance at happiness
As Mica Akullian puts it, “At the heart of codependency is a disconnection from one’s center. When we don’t feel centered, we look outward for balance, well-being, and peace. In this state of imbalance, we’re likely to fear our creative potential and power.”
Traditional enabling involves doing things for others that they could do for themselves, such as paying their bills, making excuses for their behavior, cleaning up their messes, or blaming others for their problems.
Letting go and allowing others to face their challenges is a crucial step toward genuine healing and growth, both for ourselves and for those we care about.
Spiritual or twin flame enabling includes:
Focusing more on them than on yourself and your own life.
Reading personal development materials with them in mind rather than focusing on your growth.
Sending them more spiritual healing energy than you give to yourself.
Trying to grow and heal to change them or facilitate a reunion.
Allowing them to treat you worse than you treat them, such as tolerating neglect or their sudden disappearances.
Compromising your integrity in your commitments, like cheating to be with your twin or spending all day at work communicating or worrying about them.
Letting your health decline due to fear of losing your twin or fixing the relationship.
Isolating yourself because the twin flame journey can feel confusing or crazy to most people.
Blaming yourself for not being in union or for your twin’s pain.
Seeking constant validation that they feel the same way as you, such as making excessive calls to psychics.
Being afraid to ask them for help, affection, communication, commitment, or support.
Using twin flame sex primarily to heal and keep them, rather than for your pleasure.
Essentially, we recognize codependency when we try to control, change, or manipulate someone. When we act out of fear, it's a signal that we need to shift something within ourselves, whether it’s fear of their pain, fear of being alone—physically or spiritually—fear of destiny not unfolding as we hope, fear of missing our one true person, fear of loss, fear of rejection, or fear of heartbreak.
We should aim to act out of love—unconditional love for ourselves first. Regardless of the circumstances, self-love must come first. If your twin disrespects or hurts you, love yourself enough to set boundaries, which may include ending the relationship.
When you learn this kind of love, you become one with yourself, your true self—worthy and whole. This is the essence of twin flame love: unconditional self-love. We see both them and ourselves with spiritual eyes.
Sometimes, loving them from a distance is necessary. We must protect ourselves and our inner child from their games. We allow them to go on their journey, trusting that they will find their way home on their schedule. We can’t rush their healing, nor would we want them to miss anything essential along the way.
We can sit with their pain because we’ve learned to sit with our own. We know that we have lifetimes together, so there’s no rush. Earthly reunion isn’t the goal, because whether that happens or not, we are always connected as twins. It’s exciting to consider that our journey might extend beyond this earthly experience.
We can love our imperfections, just as we love theirs. Our worth comes not from our ability to heal and help, but from simply being.
We can cut cords and end codependency because we trust that they are whole and capable of flying on their own. It’s in trusting their ability to soar that we truly heal them. Healing comes from stepping out of their way, shedding our fear-based healing masks, and being raw and vulnerable. That’s how we heal ourselves and, in turn, them.
Comments
Post a Comment