TWIN FLAME HEALING: UNDERSTANDING THE PROCESS

 

Navigating the intensity and power of a twin-flame connection can be overwhelming. The idea behind a twin flame is that they represent your opposite and what you need—your other half. This stems from the belief or myth that a soul can be split between two bodies, resulting in what some call a "mirror soul." This is why twin-flame relationships are often considered among the most passionate experiences a person can have.

If you’re wondering whether you’ve already encountered your twin flame or will in the future (different from a soulmate), you're in the right place. We consulted a relationship therapist and a certified hypnotherapist/NLP Practitioner to better understand the phenomenon behind twin flames, the eight signs that could indicate such a relationship, the origins of the concept, and more.

Remember, whether or not your potential partner is your twin flame, this is just one view of what makes a relationship fulfilling—you have the freedom to define what a successful relationship means to you.

Do Twin Flames Exist?

It's essential to address this question: do twin flames exist? It depends on who you ask.

Dr. Lastenia Francis, PhD, LMFT, a marriage and family therapist and founder of Meaningful Emotion Therapy, acknowledges the potential reality of twin flames. According to Dr. Francis, “It's common for people to experience an instant connection, which can grow into something more, sparking a process of self-discovery.”

Based on popular opinion and spiritual teachings, one possible explanation for the intensity of these relationships lies in what scientists refer to as "limerence."

Limerence

Limerence describes a state of obsession and longing for another person. The infatuation can lead to the creation of an idealized version of this individual, known as the limerent object or LO.

Psychologist Dorothy Tennov coined the term "limerence" after extensive research on romantic love. Her theory is based on interviews and observations of individuals' subjective experiences. Many of those interviewed expressed an overwhelming desire for another person. While some experienced unrequited love, others reported that their feelings were reciprocated.

Although some may doubt the existence of twin flames, the concept of limerence suggests it's possible to feel an almost inexplicable connection to someone.

Signs You’ve Met Your Twin Flame

Now that you understand that twin-flame relationships are possible, you might have someone in mind—perhaps a person you've known for years or a stranger you recently encountered online who feels familiar in some way.

Regardless of how you met, there's an undeniable pull toward this person. Twin flames are thought to act as mirrors, reflecting your growth, self-development, and even unhealed traumas and triggers. While it's not always easy to confirm if someone is your twin flame, here are a few signs that could indicate such a relationship:

You feel a deep connection: Twin flames share a bond of mind, body, and soul. There’s a magnetic pull or ‘spark’ drawing you to them, and you might even feel like you need them.

They feel familiar: As your missing piece, being around your twin flame often feels like coming home—a sense of safety and recognition.

You experience intense romantic passion: Love and lust are incredibly strong in twin-flame relationships, leading to feelings of elation.

Unreciprocated feelings bring despair: If you're unsure about their feelings, it can cause emotional distress or even physical pain.

Physical reactions: Limerence may trigger sensations like sweating, a racing heart, or trembling in their presence.

Your feelings are uncontrollable: Limerence theory suggests that feelings for your twin flame are beyond your control, making it difficult to stop thinking about them—even if you're already in another relationship.

You can only feel this way about one person: It’s believed that limerence can only occur with one person at a time.

A sense of completion: Meeting your twin flame often brings a feeling of fulfillment, as if a missing part of your life has been found.

Where Did the Concept of Twin Flames Originate?

While love is depicted in countless texts, films, poems, and songs, our overall understanding of it and the reasons behind it remain elusive and mysterious. Much of this understanding can be traced back to Greek philosophy.

Twin Flames in Greek Mythology

The ancient Greek philosopher Plato sought to explore the essence of love in his renowned work, "Symposium."

This dialogue consists of a series of speeches that delve into the meaning of love, each one paying homage to Eros, the Greek god of love.

One of these speeches, delivered by the comedic playwright Aristophanes, introduces the idea of twin flames.

Aristophanes' Speech

In his discourse, Aristophanes describes humans as once being spherical beings with four arms, four legs, two sets of genitals, and two faces on one head. He explains that the gods, fearing the immense power of these beings, decided to split them in half, creating the human form as we know it today.

As a result, humans have since spent their lives searching for their other half—their twin.

The Stages of a Twin-Flame Relationship

Using the concept of limerence to understand twin-flame connections, the Limerence Theory suggests there are several distinct stages in a limerent relationship:

Initial Meeting: The relationship begins when you encounter someone you feel drawn to.

Feelings of Uncertainty: After being captivated, you may start to question whether they share your feelings.

Obsession: This uncertainty can lead to obsessive thoughts about this person.

Rising Passion: Regardless of whether your feelings are reciprocated, the passion tends to intensify during this phase.

Decline in Feelings: According to Limerence Theory, once love is confirmed or denied, the uncertainty that fuels romantic feelings tends to fade, causing a decrease in intensity or even a complete loss of feelings.

While many of these intense relationships may eventually lose momentum, Tennov’s research indicates that the passionate phase can sometimes last a lifetime.

Are Twin Flames Different from Soulmates?

Yes! Given that limerence may explain twin-flame relationships, we can use Tennov's observations to compare various definitions of soulmates.

Kailani Raye, a certified hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner who has worked as a life and mindset coach for two years and founded The Four-Letter Project explains, “When I think of soulmates, I see them as the individuals we’re meant to journey through life with. Spiritually, we can have multiple soulmates, but we don’t always end up with our twin flames.”

Raye suggests that twin-flame relationships often serve as opportunities for self-discovery. “They act as mirrors reflecting our true selves, allowing us to grow and address our traumas and triggers.”

According to Raye, these twin-flame connections ultimately lead us closer to our soulmates.

Twin Flames vs. Soulmates

A twin flame represents your other half, while a soulmate is defined as “a person perfectly suited to another in temperament.” Another interpretation is that a soulmate is someone with whom you share deep feelings, attitudes, and beliefs.

This implies that soulmates are individuals with whom you have compatibility—whether as a romantic partner or a platonic friend.

Twin Flames

Rooted in intense romantic passion

Typically romantic or sexual, but can also be platonic

Often short-term, though they can last a lifetime

Partners are often opposites

Soulmates

Based on compatibility

Can be romantic, sexual, or platonic

Can last for any length of time

Partners share similar qualities

Thus, you might find similarities in character and personality with a soulmate, while your twin flame is likely to embody your opposite traits.

Can Twin Flames Break Up?

Unfortunately, yes. Not all twin-flame relationships endure over time. Dr. Francis notes that “twin flames, like any other relationship, can falter because they often create unrealistic expectations about instant connections.”

Moreover, based on Tennov’s findings, twin-flame relationships frequently lead to breakups. Her research indicates that limerent relationships generally last about two years, with lifetime limerent bonds being quite rare.

Keep in mind that any relationship—twin flames or otherwise—can end due to unhealthy dynamics, incompatibility, distance, or poor timing.

Can My Twin Flame and I Reconcile?

Reconciliation is always a possibility, contingent on the individuals involved and whether they can make the necessary changes to foster a healthier relationship in the future.

Raye emphasizes that "people generally have the capacity for change." She explains that sometimes you need to engage with certain individuals who act as twin flames, allowing you to confront your triggers and achieve significant breakthroughs.

She mentions that after this transformative period, both you and your twin flame may require some space, as it can be challenging to break patterns while still in the relationship. Raye believes, "Anything meant for you will never pass you by."

Raye has observed reconciliations in the past, noting that some individuals have reunited after taking time apart to grow. She asserts that following a healing phase, "twin flames can transition into a 'soulmate-ship.'"

Are Twin-Flame Relationships Toxic?

There is no definitive evidence to suggest that twin-flame relationships are inherently toxic. However, Raye points out that the toxicity of a relationship largely depends on the individuals involved and their levels of emotional intelligence during their time together.

Obsessing About Love

If you find yourself frequently preoccupied with thoughts of your twin flame, this could pose a problem. It's possible to develop an addiction to love.

Love addiction, or pathological love, is characterized by an obsessive attachment to another person. Som