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Why Twin Flames Separate & What To Do If It Happens, From Experts

 


Twin flame connections are widely considered to be the most intense relationships one can experience, yet they may not always be enduring. Occasionally, twin flames undergo a period of separation, the permanence of which depends on the specific pair involved. This article explores the reasons behind twin flame separations and guides navigating such a situation.


What defines a twin flame? Often referred to as a "mirror soul," a twin flame relationship occurs when a single soul is divided between two bodies. These individuals share an exceptionally intense soul connection, acting as mirrors for each other and serving as catalysts for personal growth. As licensed psychotherapist Babita Spinelli elucidated, the mirroring dynamic of twin flames compels them to confront insecurities and fears, facilitating profound personal development. However, these relationships can be demanding and, as Spinelli warns, have the potential to turn toxic if both parties are not adequately prepared.


The phase of twin flame separation is a common occurrence in these relationships. This stage unfolds as the initial euphoria wanes, giving way to the emergence of insecurities and attachment issues. According to spiritual author Shannon Kaiser, this period puts the love between twin flames to the test as they delve into their shadow sides. Spinelli adds that one partner may withdraw or even terminate the relationship during this phase, highlighting the push-pull dynamic inherent in twin-flame connections.


While many twin flames eventually reunite after a period of separation, the likelihood of reconciliation depends on the individual work each partner undertakes during their time apart. However, some twin flame relationships may prove toxic and never lead to a reunion, or perhaps should not. Understanding the reasons behind twin flame separations is crucial:


In some cases, the timing may not be right for one (typically one) or both individuals. Referred to as "the runner" and "the chaser," these roles involve self-reflection and the realization that the twin flame relationship surpasses the depth of any previous connections. Not everyone is prepared for the challenges of loving someone unconditionally while maintaining healthy boundaries.

Separation may be necessary for personal growth and learning, allowing both individuals to come back together in a healthier manner. If the timing is not right, it may be because the twin flames met before they were ready. In a healthy twin flame relationship, both partners grow together, but in cases of separation, growth may need to occur independently. Psychotherapist Annette Nuñez emphasizes that if someone feels stagnant and unable to be their best self, it may not be the healthiest relationship.


Lack of self-love is a prevalent theme in twin flame relationships leading up to the separation phase, often manifesting as codependency, jealousy, or other issues. Many twin flames find that significant growth is required in the realm of self-love.

The challenge of self-love in twin flame relationships arises from the concept's nature, which may be misinterpreted to imply the existence of a "perfect match" one must find to achieve completeness. Tanya Carroll Richardson, a professional intuitive and author of Angel Intuition, has emphasized that the pursuit of perfection is self-sabotaging. She asserts that one does not require another person to complete their soul, and no individual can fulfill all their prayers and resolve all their problems.


Emotional or spiritual immaturity is a common factor in twin flame separations, with the "runner" of the relationship often being less mature, either spiritually or emotionally, than their twin flame. Annette Nuñez notes that misalignment occurs when one person is evolving while the other remains stagnant. Shannon Kaiser adds that a true divine partnership necessitates emotional and spiritual equality for a lasting relationship based on mutual growth.

The completion of necessary lessons is a key determinant for the end of a twin flame relationship. Nuñez explains that twin flames are believed to have shared many lifetimes, imparting different lessons to each other. If the required lessons are learned in the current lifetime, the relationship may reach its conclusion. This also contributes to the timing aspect, signifying that the individual has acquired the needed wisdom for the present.

Navigating the separation involves focusing on personal growth and self-love. Nuñez emphasizes the importance of each individual concentrating on self-discovery and happiness, stressing that one's contentment should not be contingent on being in a relationship. Once this self-work is accomplished, twin flames may have the opportunity to rekindle their connection more profoundly. Nuñez underscores that this growth process cannot be rushed, and trusting in what is meant for you will happen is crucial.


"Be comfortable being alone," suggests Nuñez, advising individuals to engage in self-dates, embrace emotional introspection, practice shadow work, and resist the urge to hastily replace what has been lost with a new relationship. This period of separation also offers an opportunity to nurture platonic soulmate connections and other significant relationships that contribute to personal growth and learning.


How does the separation unfold in twin flame dynamics? Typically, one person assumes the role of the runner, while the other becomes the chaser in twin flame relationships. As the separation phase approaches, the runner may exhibit behaviors such as avoidance, withdrawal, or even sabotage of the relationship, as pointed out by Spinelli. While the runner is often the one initiating the separation, there are instances where the chaser, recognizing the runner's detachment, may choose to consciously "let them go."


Is the separation inherently negative? Answering this question isn't straightforward. Undoubtedly, parting ways with a twin flame can be emotionally wrenching, yet if the relationship has reached that juncture, it likely serves a purpose. Bowman suggests that when one individual is perpetually unprepared, the union of twin flames may not transpire in this lifetime. She further notes that a twin flame may enter our lives solely to serve as a reminder of our true selves, and their departure could be a lesson in itself.


Nevertheless, there are occasions when twin flames reconcile, and in such cases, the separation proves essential for their reunion to be more profound. Therefore, the evaluation of the separation period isn't a matter of labeling it as inherently "good" or "bad." Instead, it revolves around trusting that what is destined to occur will unfold in due course.

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