The twin flame runner and chaser phase represent the most agonizing yet transformative aspect of the twin flame journey. Nearly all twin flames encounter the dynamics of the runner and chaser to some degree, often leading to a separation that persists for days, months, or even years.
Twin flames resonate with the same energetic frequency, with one embodying more masculine energy and the other more feminine energy, irrespective of gender. This creates a complementary polarity, forming a perfect mirror. Despite sharing an identical love, each twin perceives the connection in a unique way.
Upon meeting, twin flames experience immediate recognition and a profound magnetic bond, fostering a sense of closeness and unity. Both individuals are engulfed in an overwhelming love and compassion that surpasses any previous experiences. Their thoughts are consumed by each other, and an irresistible yearning for one another's energy ensues.
Twin flame relationships manifest under diverse circumstances, such as pre-existing marriages or relationships, significant age disparities, cultural variances, or geographical distances. These factors can pose considerable challenges from the outset. Nevertheless, regardless of the circumstances, twin flames are destined to unite in some manner—be it through online connections, friendships, or actual physical and intimate relationships.
In all forms of connection, both twins share profound feelings of unconditional love, passion, and an unwavering desire for each other, laying the foundation for a unique and powerful bond.
Divine Masculine
The intensity of love in a twin flame connection, typically emanating from the one carrying the masculine energy, often becomes so overpowering that the individual feels inundated and opts to distance themselves, triggering the twin flame runner chaser phase.
It's important to note that energy in this context is not confined to gender stereotypes; masculine energy can manifest in both men and women. For simplicity, we'll use "he/him/his" for masculine energy and "she/her/hers" for feminine energy.
The twin with masculine energy harbors various fears related to the connection. The runner is apprehensive about the profoundness of the love, concerned that the relationship is progressing too swiftly. There's a fear that the Universe is playing a cruel trick, as the love appears almost too good to be true. Sacrificing the comfort of the current life for this intense love becomes a source of anxiety for the runner.
Numerous other fears grip him, prompting him to evade them by assuming the role of the twin flame 'runner.' He might distance himself through actions like blocking, ghosting, or ignoring his twin. Emotionally, he might run by shutting down, withholding his feelings, or even misrepresenting his emotions. Regardless, the runner will find a way to reject the connection.
Frequently, the twin flame runner redirects attention to alternative relationships, develops addictions, engages in unhealthy behaviors, or immerses himself in work. These actions serve as distractions from the overwhelming love he feels for his twin flame, attempting to ward off the painful wounds that surface for healing.
Divine Feminine
Conversely, the twin embodying feminine energy is more inclined to take risks. Typically, the divine feminine is the more spiritually mature twin flame, recognizing the divine nature of the connection. She is prepared to take a leap of faith for the sake of this love, demonstrating a deep desire for the relationship and a willingness to do anything to secure it, even at the expense of her dignity and self-respect.
When the twin flame runner chooses to distance himself, the divine feminine is left bewildered and heartbroken. She believes that demonstrating unconditional love will bring him back to her, adopting the role of the twin flame 'chaser.' The chaser finds it challenging to move on, holding onto the need for answers. Paradoxically, the more she pursues, the more the runner retreats.
The Twin Flame Runner’s Journey
In the runner's perspective, life seems satisfactory. He may navigate from one unfulfilling relationship to another or find himself in a loveless marriage or long-term partnership. Regardless, he remains within his comfort zone, maintaining control. Upon encountering his twin flame, his entire reality undergoes a profound shift, compelling him to confront his true self.
Twin flames act as perfect mirrors, reflecting each other's unique qualities, gifts, deepest insecurities, wounds, and fears. The runner carries the weight of significant heartache and trauma from past relationships and childhood wounds, having learned to suppress and conceal his pain. Walls around his heart serve as protection from the vulnerability of love.
The Runner Experiences Love
The overwhelming love he feels for his twin flame acts as a catalyst, dismantling the protective walls around his heart and initiating an unprecedented opening. Flooded with profound love and compassion, the twin flame chaser embodies everything he desires, introducing him to a level of passion he has never encountered.
He is drawn to her spiritually, emotionally, and physically, captivated by her inner and outer beauty. Mesmerized, he loves every aspect of the chaser – her appearance, gait, speech, hair, eyes, smile, and her confidence. The chaser becomes his muse, guide, and light, placed on a pedestal, inadvertently overlooking that the beauty he perceives in her is a reflection of his own qualities.
In his eyes, she appears flawless, tailor-made for him, an idea that induces anxiety and fear. The runner grapples with the fear of this seemingly perfect love, not recognizing that the opposite of love is fear, not hate.
The Runner Experiences Fear
The suppressed pain within the runner starts to surface, exposing wounds that make him feel intensely vulnerable and out of control. Overwhelmed by fear, he becomes paralyzed by various insecurities, especially the fear of love, particularly in the context of the unique twin flame connection.
Deep-seated wounds, rooted in childhood trauma, manifest as a fear of rejection and abandonment, shaping his interactions with people and influencing his self-perception. The runner dreads intimacy, fearing that revealing his true self to his twin flame may result in her rejection.
Commitment, vulnerability, inadequacy, and the fear of losing control further torment the runner, driven by an ego that craves control and a belief that vulnerability is a sign of weakness. His decisions and actions are dictated by fear, creating a barrier to the deep connection he shares with his twin flame.
The Runner Chooses to Run
Faced with the demands of the twin flame connection, the runner, unprepared for the emotional upheaval, opts to escape rather than confront his fears. He erroneously associates the pain he experiences with the chaser, leading him to run not from her but from himself.
Feeling unworthy of the love and connection, the runner rejects them before facing potential rejection from his twin flame. Driven by the depth of his fears, he wears a metaphorical mask, concealing his true feelings, blocking, ignoring, and ghosting the chaser. His actions convey indifference, serving as a defense mechanism.
In other relationships, where he doesn't confront his mirrored self, the runner feels different and in control. Despite potential unhappiness, he may persist in an existing relationship or seek solace in a new one, using various excuses to justify his avoidance of the twin flame connection.
When the Chaser Stops Chasing
As the chaser eventually ceases pursuit, initiating a period of separation, the runner initially experiences relief. However, the absence of the twin flame intensifies his longing and desire, plunging him into a state of intense soul shock – a dark night of the soul marked by isolation, sadness, and spiritual depression.
Without the twin flame, the runner feels lost and empty, recognizing his role in the separation, fostering feelings of unworthiness and regret. Turning to addictions proves futile in filling the void left by the twin flame. His insecurities and wounds, laid bare, prevent a return to the previous self.
Though yearning to be close to his twin flame, the runner remains stuck, unable to move forward until he undergoes full healing and self-confrontation. Despite the powerful love that persists, the overwhelming pain hinders progress, necessitating strength to emerge from the darkness into the love that awaits.
The Runner's Healing
The twin flame runner's profound love for the chaser is overshadowed by an internal struggle—a battle between fears fueled by the ego and the true divine nature of love within his soul. Pain and adversity constitute integral components of the runner's journey toward becoming the divine masculine, a transformative path leading to spiritual awakening and growth.
As the runner gradually emerges from the darkness, he discovers his authentic self as an eternal divine being. Awakening and transformation become evident as he adopts a new perspective, viewing the world and himself through the lens of love rather than fear.
In the process of healing, the runner attains wholeness and learns to love himself unconditionally, marking the end of the twin flame runner chaser phase as he reunites with his feminine counterpart and progresses toward union.
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