Every pair of twin flames undergoes a preparatory phase leading up to their reunion. Upon complete surrender, they enter a stream of synchronistic and predestined events, becoming increasingly empowered and guided by a higher force. It marks the enchanting journey from surrender to illumination, where numerous lessons are comprehended, insights and events validate awareness, and the twins resonate with the vibration of the Twin Flame Sacred Heart and Consciousness.
Contrary to the common assumption that the positive turn in my journey resulted from my twin finally "getting it," this perception that our twin flame is the cause of our reunion not happening is both misleading and counterproductive. The pivotal shift occurred as both of us consciously embraced full accountability for ourselves and our role in restoring balance within our connection. I discovered my true self, understood how I shape my reality, and consciously aligned these realizations with the inner knowing of my heart. This is my narrative of the events and realizations that triggered these transformative changes.
The responsibility of giving oneself the love they need is emphasized. Nearly a decade ago, I invested 18 months attempting to build a relationship with my twin, facing frustrations with his contradictions and uncertainty. Despite his insistence on the significance of our "close friendship," he consistently pushed me away, citing my perceived "expectations." The emotional toll became unbearable, leading me to seize an opportunity to marry someone else and create a life that, while not entirely reflective of my inner self, offered a reprieve from the intense connection. Unaware at the time, my actions mirrored those of my twin, who sought solace in a "safe" marriage, restricting his authentic self-expression but avoiding the intense reflection of his soul.
I became acutely aware of the passage of time nearly two years ago when a series of crises unfolded in rapid succession in my life. The universe sent me a wake-up call in no uncertain terms. After enduring six months of personal turmoil, I found myself critically ill in the hospital. On that very day, my twin reached out with a letter expressing the "positive image, reflection, and energy" he carries of me wherever he goes. It marked the first time in eight years that he mentioned our connection and the first contact I'd had with him in over 18 months. However, lying in the hospital, grappling with a potentially fatal infection, and recovering from major surgery, he was the furthest thing from my thoughts. I felt numb and realized that things needed to change.
During my gradual recovery, I could barely summon the energy to do more than the bare minimum for my job and children. Beneath it all, I desired to rediscover myself. Inspired by a YouTube video, I began making choices aligned with self-love, asking myself, "What would a person with self-love do?" As I made loving choices, I felt my complete self being activated, and my soul began to feel liberated. I finally grasped that it was my responsibility to give myself all the love I needed. I couldn't expect anyone else to love me fully if I didn't first love myself.
As I increased my self-love and self-recognition, I transitioned from making small positive changes to larger ones, creating a more balanced, loving life for myself and my children. Eventually, I decided to end my marriage, empowered by a newfound self-love that enabled me to recognize the ways it did not serve my highest good.
The realization dawned on me that the more I engaged in activities I loved, revealing my authentic self, the more I felt my twin as an integral part of me—always present when I was present. It went beyond a lingering static memory; it was his genuine, loving, reassuring presence and energy intertwined and interacting with mine. Embracing my true self brought me closer to him and a deeper connection with God. This revelation prompted me to understand that the disconnection from him years ago had led to a disconnection from myself. This marked the first of many enlightening moments yet to unfold.
It dawned on me that the reflection of my twin that I carry within me will perpetually be drawn to the entirety of him, as it is an intrinsic part of who he is. Likewise, I will always yearn for the part of me that he holds, following the divine rule that all that has been separated from God must ultimately return to Him. The realization struck me that I could never revert to the person I was before knowing him because this connection is eternal. To find inner peace and completeness, I needed to embrace and accept his role in my life. The choice lay before me: to accept and confront it or to live a life marked by pain, distant from my wholeness.
Understanding that the Twin Flame reunion is an internal process became clear. As we are interconnected, achieving balance within our greater One-Soul requires first attaining equilibrium within ourselves. Harmony within paves the way for harmony without. Reflecting on his recent email, I wondered if he felt the same sense of unity with me that I now recognized within myself.
With the acknowledgment of my wholeness, the sensation of my twin being close to me at a heart level became tangible. I felt him drawing nearer with each breath, prompting the spiritual nudges to approach him. Seven months after his email, I reached out and shared the events of the past year. His response expressed the hope that I still considered him a close friend and regretted that I hadn't informed him about my illness. I found it perplexing that, after nearly a decade of minimal contact, he continued to reference our "close friendship." It puzzled me greatly, and I realized I needed to convey my reasons.
In my subsequent communication, I honestly explained that I couldn't integrate him into my life without jeopardizing the carefully constructed life I had built. It was the first time I had been transparent with myself, let alone him, about the lingering pain. He replied, expressing his wish that my dilemma wouldn't hinder our shared values and dreams. This perplexed me further, as it wasn't the first time he had brought up our shared values and dreams despite never actively pursuing them with me. Scrutinizing our past emails, a new level of understanding unfolded. Blurred by my ego, I had misinterpreted his words and reacted from a place of fear and ego, not love. Upon revisiting old conversations and moments, I realized I had not been ready or mature enough to embrace our union. Instead of blaming him as the "runner" for 12 years, I recognized that I had been the runner all along, just as scared and unprepared for the intensity of the connection as he had been. This newfound understanding fostered compassion in my heart towards him as I grasped the depth of his struggles.
I recognized that our prolonged separation had been both necessary and unavoidable. It became evident that his past and present withdrawals were not a reflection of me but rather an intense confrontation with himself. I acknowledged that I was not a victim; it was a narrative I had been telling myself. Finally, I decided to let go of all false stories, beliefs, roles, and personas and fully embrace who I already am. This liberation brought a sense of freedom—freedom from desire, sadness, my restless search, and the conditions and barriers I had imposed on myself when I was unaware of my power and the power of God.
Understanding that the Twin Flame reunion is an internal process became clear. Since we are interconnected, achieving balance within our greater One-Soul requires first attaining equilibrium within ourselves. Harmony within paves the way for harmony without. Reflecting on his recent email, I wondered if he felt the same sense of unity with me that I now recognized within myself.
With the acknowledgment of my wholeness, the sensation of my twin being close to me at a heart level became tangible. I felt him drawing nearer with each breath, prompting the spiritual nudges to approach him. Seven months after his email, I reached out and shared the events of the past year. His response expressed the hope that I still considered him a close friend and regret that I hadn't informed him about my illness. I found it perplexing that, after nearly a decade of minimal contact, he continued to reference our "close friendship." It puzzled me greatly, and I realized I needed to convey my reasons.
In my subsequent communication, I honestly explained that I couldn't integrate him into my life without jeopardizing the carefully constructed life I had built. It was the first time I had been transparent with myself, let alone him, about the lingering pain. He replied, expressing his wish that my dilemma wouldn't hinder our shared values and dreams. This perplexed me further, as it wasn't the first time he had brought up our shared values and dreams despite never actively pursuing them with me. Scrutinizing our past emails, a new level of understanding unfolded. Blurred by my ego, I had misinterpreted his words and reacted from a place of fear and ego, not love. Upon revisiting old conversations and moments, I realized I had not been ready or mature enough to embrace our union. Instead of blaming him as the "runner" for 12 years, I recognized that I had been the runner all along, just as scared and unprepared for the intensity of the connection as he had been. This newfound understanding fostered compassion in my heart towards him as I grasped the depth of his struggles.
I could see how our long separation had been both necessary and inevitable. I also saw that his past and current withdrawals had nothing to do with me but rather with the intensity of having to face himself. Certainly, I was not the victim here; it was just a story I had been telling myself. At last, I decided to release all the false stories, beliefs, roles, and personas and fully embrace WHO I ALREADY AM. As I did this I felt free; free from want, from sadness, from my restless search, from all the conditions and barriers that I had set up for myself when I hadn’t known my power, or the power of God, yet.
I had been quick to assume that my twin was the unconscious one who either failed to see the truth or who denied it, however, I was now bestowed with the knowing that he had always known about our connection, just like I had, and that all this time he had been waiting for me to come into this same awareness. I finally understood that this validation regarding his feelings could never have come from him – it could only come from realizing the truth of our One-soul where our love is always felt and experienced as a One.
His love for me was just as unexplainable to him as my love for him was to me. He had always, regardless of circumstances, loved me and cared about me – I no longer needed to hear it, I could feel it. He had always showed up to guide me past the thresholds of the various stages and realizations of our journey, facing me on his way, to serve our spiritual growth. I saw how by triggering and challenging me, he had always invited me to heal, to connect with my true self, and to face my fears. He always knew just what to do/say to get me to expand in the love.
My twin flame had always been my biggest champion, my biggest ally, and my closest friend even when appearances had me believe the contrary. I realized that it was him who by not being there taught me to seek and find comfort within our shared inner space; it was him who by triggering all that was unhealed within me taught me how to heal it; it was him who by turning down my love taught me that it needed to be returned to God; it was him who by withdrawing his love from me taught me that I did not need anyone’s permission to give it to myself; and it was him who by allowing our separation to go on for nearly a decade guided me to a place outside of time where we are never separate.
I suddenly felt humbled and immensely grateful as I realized that all this time he had been of Divine Service to me. He had awakened me, reminded me who I am, taught me the meaning of true love, and then called me home to him, to God, and Divine service so beautifully. I felt such deep love and reverence for him. This love filled all my empty spaces and started overflowing everywhere and I prayed to God that I could be of such Divine Service to my Twin in return. I wanted to always be there for his growth for the greater good of all, whatever it took. I now trusted him fully, and I could finally sigh in relief – we are in this together, no matter what.
I had always known he was my mirror but I was now starting to see the precision with which the mirroring happens. I saw the internal balance and vibration that we BOTH had to demonstrate to be able to come together and I started to relax in the knowing that if I could balance the inner, the outer would alter in reflection and that if I increased my vibration, he would have no choice but to do the same.
I felt like there was still a way to go for things to fully fall into place, however in the meantime I decided to set a new standard for how I show up in the connection. I vowed to remain centered and connected and to meet whatever arises with love, compassion, and honesty. I would no longer pussyfoot around him or treat him like some emotionally and spiritually impaired person who is afraid of my love, my passion, my feelings, or expectations, and I would no longer censor my words, emotions, or experiences for fear of scaring him away. That energy had only ever created doubt and confusion between us. Instead, I would only emanate the power of knowing what I know and I had absolute faith that he would reflect it to me. If he didn’t then it simply wasn’t time yet.
I wanted to reach out to him, to let him know that I now take full responsibility for my part and acknowledge all how I had contributed to the imbalance between us. I offered to meet him. No reply. I sent him my phone number: no reply. I was intrigued. Why was he suddenly silent? I could feel the energy between us pulsing with something unprecedented. Little did I know that once again he knew exactly what to do to get me to fully open up to this new awareness within me. His silence pulled the truth out of me.
With a whole new level of transparency and accountability, I wrote him a long, heartfelt letter. I didn’t ask, beg, hope, or make any demands – I simply told him everything and invited him to take my hand and rise in love. I was responding to a higher calling, to a sense of belonging and being where I needed to be, not only on the greater scale of things but within my journey. I felt like a bird who never questions its existence or path yet which without any hesitation simply rises high into the sky and allows the warm winds to carry it to its destination.
I knew I did not want him back at any less than his fullest and truest self and he could take all the time and space he needed to get there. I knew that in the meantime God would continue to guide me and provide me with all the love that I needed. However, if I was hearing this call to return to him to align with the divine plan, then as part of the One-soul he had to be hearing that same call. There was NO OTHER WAY. Therefore, wasn’t I simply claiming our destiny by asking him to join forces with me on the outside like he had done on the inside?
I knew my email was a signal which would tell him that it was time to come HOME. I was truly calling forth his divine masculine to match my divine feminine; I was now a Queen ready for my King to return home to rule the Kingdom that we had built together. No matter what, we would end up being ONLY LOVE, vibrating together in the heart of God in our eternal Oneness and Life. To return to who we are, to where we belong is to simply stay there: to stay in this love, and this now became my only option.
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