TWIN FLAME HEALING: UNDERSTANDING THE PROCESS

 

How can you distinguish between a genuine and a deceptive twin flame encounter? Once I discovered the existence of "false/fake twin flames," I became fixated on determining whether mine fell into that category. I scoured the entire internet for clarity, but most articles were rather ambiguous, leaving me even more uncertain. However, this week, during a deep meditation session, I had an epiphany that brought me newfound clarity. I hope this article can shed light on this difficult question concerning twin flames, just as it did for me.

You may question why you should trust me—I'm simply a writer on Medium sharing my twin flame journey. However, thanks to my twin flame, I discovered a hidden part of myself that I never knew existed—my intuition. And a strong intuition is akin to a superpower. It is a dormant power within all of us, often concealed. It is not fear masquerading as intuition (a common confusion) nor is it arrogance. It is the life force capable of moving mountains and providing insights that inherently feel true.

What sets apart a genuine twin flame from a deceptive one? The topic of twin flames has seen a surge in popularity on Google, with over 100 million search results for "twin flame." Why are so many individuals suddenly encountering their twin flames? And why do so many doubt whether it's a genuine or deceptive connection?

Both genuine and deceptive twin flames evoke intense emotions. There is a magnetic pull towards them and a sense of familiarity. Love is intense right from the beginning, and physical attraction is overwhelmingly strong. A push/pull dynamic and separation stages are also present.

These aspects apply to both genuine and deceptive twin flames—I know this because I have experienced both. Many "experts" claim that a false twin flame is a karmic connection, a result of trauma bonding, a narcissist, or even a psychopath. However, a genuine twin flame can possess any of these traits as well. It all depends on the timing.

A twin flame cannot be considered genuine if the relationship does not lead to immense personal growth. Every relationship should contribute to personal growth in some way, but a twin flame connection will fundamentally change your core.

You will likely encounter numerous deceptive twin flames, but only a genuine twin flame will truly transform you for the better. That is the ultimate purpose of this relationship. Once you have met a genuine twin flame, you will never encounter another twin flame, whether genuine or deceptive, because you have learned the necessary lessons.

That is why people say you only have one twin flame. And it's true because the genuine one is the last one you will ever encounter.

The concept of your twin flame being your split soul holds more truth than you can imagine, just not in the way you might think. It is not because your twin completes you; it is because your twin reflects a hidden part of yourself.

Here are some rare signs that indicate you have encountered your genuine twin flame, distinct from the common signs that apply to both genuine and deceptive twin flame connections, including the various stages twin flames go through:

Mutual connection: This is the most apparent sign that confirms the presence of a genuine twin flame—the connection is reciprocal. A deceptive twin flame will always have one foot out the door right from the beginning. The connection with a deceptive twin flame feels intense and magnetic, but they are unwilling to commit to you. They will find reasons to make you feel inadequate and communicate their disinterest. They keep you around until they find someone they perceive as better, and when they do, they discard you immediately, leaving you shattered. They might even return a few times, knowing that you are waiting for them, but they never genuinely commit.

A genuine twin flame is just as invested in the relationship as you are. You shake their world as well. They are willing to make changes to their current life to be with you, even though it may seem nearly impossible. Whether they follow through with those changes is another matter, but at least they desire it.

You embody contrasting qualities

Your genuine twin flame is your polar opposite. They represent the yin to your yang, and vice versa. Their weaknesses align with your strengths, and their strengths align with your weaknesses (and vice versa). The commonly held belief that twin flames make you whole is true. There is a side of you that has remained hidden for many years, or even lifetimes, and your genuine twin flame has come to reflect that to you. Likewise, you reflect their hidden side to them. It is necessary to be opposites to illuminate those aspects. For instance, if you are introverted, your twin flame must be extroverted. If you are affluent, your twin flame is likely experiencing financial struggles. If you tend to be lazy, your twin flame is probably highly motivated. If you are deeply empathetic, your twin flame may exhibit more cold-hearted tendencies. Twin flames function in this manner because they reveal to you that you possess all those qualities within yourself as well. The key lies in achieving a balanced integration of both opposites, and that is why your twin flame brings you a sense of wholeness. However, it's important to note that you don't necessarily have to be in union with your twin flame to experience that sense of completion.

They represent your shadow

Once you realize that your genuine twin flame is the embodiment of your deepest shadow, everything falls into place. A false twin flame may possess shadow aspects as well, but they don't reflect your shadow side. For example, my twin flame exhibited a strong inclination for control, which triggered me greatly as I value personal freedom. This triggering experience made me recognize that I, too, had exerted a significant amount of control in my previous relationships. I had never seen that side of myself before because I believed I was inspiring and stimulating to my past boyfriends. Now I understand that my "stimulation" was, in fact, a form of control. 

My twin flame's excessive need for control shed light on how controlling I had been toward others in the past, despite him being the more controlling one in our relationship. A genuine twin flame will reveal a hidden side of yourself that you have subconsciously tried to conceal, whereas, with a false twin flame, you won't recognize yourself in them—not because they are false, but because you are not yet ready to confront that part of yourself. This is why you keep encountering false twins until you meet your genuine one (which, again, is a matter of timing). It also explains why some individuals meet their genuine twin flame right from the start—they recognize the reflection immediately. To identify your shadow, reflect on what triggers you the most about your twin flame. If they are your genuine twin flame, you have those same qualities within yourself. Knowing and confronting your shadow is one of the most challenging aspects of the twin flame journey, as it can make your entire life seem like an illusion.

You inspire each other

Genuine twin flames are not solely about shadows; they also bring out each other's light sides. Once again, it is a side of you that has been hidden but eager to emerge. Whatever you admire about your twin flame, you possess those same qualities too. You likely fell deeply in love with them because they possess traits that you wish you had. A genuine twin flame shows you that you have those same talents. For example, my twin flame used to praise me for my compassion, even though I never perceived myself as particularly compassionate. He admired how I supported and included everyone in my life. Initially, I had no realization of the positive side I possessed, but he brought it to light. Furthermore, my twin flame also discovered that side within himself, becoming more compassionate and inclusive toward his friends. On the other hand, I always felt inspired by my twin flame's focus and effectiveness in his work. I, on the other hand, tended to be lazy and prone to procrastination. He demonstrated to me that I too could be focused and efficient; I simply needed to tap into that side of myself.

Mutual triggering

A false twin flame cannot trigger you; they will simply walk away if you do. A genuine twin flame connection is highly triggering for both individuals involved. It is triggering because it taps into your unresolved traumas, making you want to run away. However, your love for your twin flame is so strong that you cannot bring yourself to walk away. The same applies to them, up to a certain point, because eventually one of you may need to separate to integrate the lessons learned. A false twin flame may also trigger one partner, but the other will quickly move on when triggered. They are not ready to face that mirror and will discard you. A genuine twin flame recognizes when they are triggered and is willing to work on it and discuss it because being without you is far more challenging than being triggered. This is why a twin flame relationship is so powerful—both individuals are finally addressing their core traumas.

Unforgettable connection

You cannot simply forget a genuine twin flame; they become real to you once you have truly moved on from them. This may seem paradoxical, but it holds. You will continue to encounter false twins until your genuine twin flame enters your life. And you cannot forget the genuine ones because they are meant to be the last ones. The length of time it takes for you to grasp this lesson is up to you, but the memory of a genuine twin flame will always linger in your mind. They are meant to make you confront yourself, and until you do, you cannot let them go. A false twin flame will feel like a fraud, as if you know this type of connection exists, just not with them. They make you yearn for your genuine twin flame. Any other connection that doesn't evoke that twin flame feeling won't be satisfying to you, and you will continue searching until you encounter your genuine twin. After meeting your genuine twin flame, you understand that you will never forget them. More on this topic will be discussed later.

Awakening from the Illusion

A genuine twin flame relationship is a spiritual bond that taps into your intuitive side, providing clarity on many aspects of our toxic society. Genuine twin flames serve as awakeners for each other. On the other hand, a false twin flame does not experience a spiritual awakening but instead retreats into its old patterns. A genuine twin flame may also revert to their previous life, but with you, they first touched something divine. Genuine twins are aware of the concept of the illusionary matrix and have shared spiritual experiences, whether through sexual intimacy, meditation, or deeply emotional connections. In contrast, a false twin flame is closed off to anything spiritual. How could they be open when they reject this connection, essentially rejecting the divine? A genuine twin flame may also initially reject the connection, but they do so to facilitate personal growth, not because they disbelieve in its significance.

Journeying through the Dark Night of the Soul

A genuine twin flame propels you into the Dark Night of the Soul, serving as the ultimate catalyst for meeting your authentic Self. A false twin flame simply triggers your search for the genuine one, as you may not yet be ready to embark on the Dark Night. The Dark Night experience feels like nothing else in life matters anymore, as if everything is an illusion and you might as well cease to exist. It resembles depression, but it surpasses its depths. It is a profound journey within your core, exploring the hidden corners that your twin flame activated within you. The distinction between the Dark Night and depression lies in the Dark Night leading you to encounter your true Self. You rediscover your inner beauty, delve into your childhood, and unravel the reasons behind your initial attraction to your twin flame. You begin to love yourself in ways you never thought possible, connecting with your Higher Self and activating your spiritual gifts. Your newfound self-respect prevents you from entering unhealthy relationships, as you can identify toxic individuals from the outset. 

And the most remarkable aspect is that you accept your twin flame for who they are—a catalyst. Your genuine twin flame acts as the ultimate catalyst for your journey toward self-realization. They make you whole because whatever they are, you are also. Your genuine twin flame enables you to achieve the ultimate internal balance between your shadows and your light. Whether you are physically reunited is inconsequential because they reside within you, and you have brought them out permanently. This is why a twin flame completes you. Twin flames are meant to be together because they are a reflection of you, and you are a reflection of them. They will always be a part of you. Regardless of their toxicity, unhealthiness, or even narcissism, they are your genuine twin flame because they served as the illuminator. Thus, when you have encountered your genuine twin flame, it will be the last one you ever meet. There is no other twin flame because they eternally reside within you, and you know them because you know yourself. A genuine twin flame allows you to realize that you are deserving of more than waiting for someone who does not choose you. They make you aware that the self-respect you possess is more valuable than being with someone who does not prioritize you.

What about a reunion in real life? Does this mean that genuine twin flames can never be together? No, if both twins recognize the aforementioned signs and work on themselves, they can potentially reunite. However, such reunions are extremely rare due to the arduous nature of the journey involved. Who truly desires to confront their darkest aspects? It is far easier to retreat into a life of illusion and make excuses for why the timing is not right. The truth is that the timing is always perfect. A genuine twin flame is real because it was time for you to meet yourself. You have only one genuine twin flame, for they were the ones who led you to self-discovery. You have become the yin-yang symbol as a whole, attaining the ultimate balance between darkness and light. And this is how you discern that you have encountered your genuine twin flame.