A lot of couples experience dissatisfaction or a sense of emptiness in their relationship as the physical intimacy tends to diminish naturally over time due to daily responsibilities and predictable routines. Even those who felt an intense soulful and passionate connection during the beginning of their relationship are not immune to this.
I was surprised to discover that I felt disconnected from my partner after just two years of marriage, despite believing that a great relationship would simply continue to grow without much effort. It became clear that my husband and I were lacking a deeper spiritual bond, both individually and as a couple.
Rather than causing us to drift apart, this marital crisis allowed us to become more open and vulnerable with each other. Looking back, it was the start of our journey toward a more spiritual relationship.
Although the idea of a spiritual relationship can be intriguing, it may also be confusing and abstract for many. Before discussing ways to cultivate a deeper spiritual connection with your partner, it's important to establish a definition of spirituality.
In today's world, spirituality is a widely recognized and sought-after aspect of life. Many individuals yearn for a meaningful and soul-enriching experience that goes beyond the mundanities of their daily existence. For some, spirituality is found within the confines of religious institutions such as churches, synagogues, temples, or mosques. They find comfort and solace in the beliefs, values, and rituals of their faith, and this becomes an integral part of their culture and community.
However, while religion and spirituality have been used interchangeably in the past, they have now evolved into distinct concepts. According to the Pew Research Center, a growing number of people in the United States identify as spiritual but not religious. Religion is typically associated with beliefs and practices centered around the divine, emphasizing morality and right and wrong. In contrast, spirituality is a broader concept that allows for individual introspection and personal interpretation. The meaning of spirituality varies among individuals and can encompass diverse aspects of life.
The desire for a more spiritual existence is often motivated by a yearning to connect with something greater than ourselves and experience a sense of interconnectedness and love that is integral to our very being and origin. Seeking inner peace, meaning, and purpose is also a primary motivation for those exploring their spiritual side.
Individuals who pursue spirituality are often inclined to question traditional beliefs and conventions, particularly among younger generations such as millennials and Gen Z. They seek to adopt practices and beliefs that make sense to them and help them understand the world around them. Spiritual practices can vary greatly, from prayer and meditation to yoga and community service, from personal transformation to belief in reincarnation. Some people find spirituality through art, music, or nature, or by living by their values and studying elevated spiritual concepts.
While some individuals choose to pursue spirituality within a like-minded community, it is generally a more personalized and experiential journey. The approach is more intentional and allows individuals to tailor their spiritual practices to their unique needs and preferences.
How does spirituality factor into our relationships? Whether we approach it through organized religion or individual spiritual practices, incorporating the divine into our relationships enables us to connect with something infinite.
When a relationship is solely focused on romance, physical attraction, or transactional benefits, it remains bound within the limitations of time, space, and movement, where everything ultimately comes to an end. Even if a relationship lasts, it often proves unfulfilling. However, by applying spiritual principles to our relationships, we gain access to the infinite, creating the potential for a deeper and more meaningful bond. This type of relationship not only has a better chance of lasting, but it also allows us to experience ever-increasing levels of love and satisfaction. Yes, infinite love and satisfaction!
I define a spiritual relationship as a bond that a couple creates together by living in alignment with their shared spiritual values and beliefs, supporting each other's growth and evolution. This connection generates a spiritual Light that endures for an eternity, benefiting not just the partners themselves but also everyone around them, directly and indirectly.
While the idea of a spiritual relationship may sound profound, rest assured that it is a simple and practical process (though it does require effort, of course) that overlaps with building a healthy partnership in general.
Developing a stronger spiritual connection with your partner involves building a solid foundation, which can be achieved by establishing good relationship habits. By consistently engaging in positive behaviors like showing kindness, giving compliments, and prioritizing your partner's needs, you create a strong foundation for growing spiritually together. Taking the time to plan fun activities, address conflicts calmly, express appreciation, and support each other's dreams are all steps in the right direction.
It's essential to address any barriers preventing you from feeling closer, happier, and more loved. Seeking the help of a trusted relationship counselor can assist in identifying underlying patterns and facilitate more effective communication between you and your partner. Remember, building a more spiritual relationship is an ongoing process that requires effort and dedication from both partners.
Foster meaningful conversations to improve your relationship. To establish a strong foundation, it's crucial to engage in meaningful conversations about your relationship. Choose a peaceful environment and a mutually convenient time to avoid discussing things after an argument or emotional event. With a curious and growth-oriented attitude, take turns asking each other questions that focus on the positive aspects, such as: How do you feel about our relationship? What is working well for you? Where do you feel loved by me? What are you grateful for about us? What makes you happy and fulfilled? Are there any issues we need to address in our relationship? How can I support you better to feel more loved? How do you feel about our communication? How can I improve on making you feel heard and appreciated?
Develop together.
Recently, my husband and I had a profound conversation that helped us grow together. Although it wasn't easy, my husband's vulnerability and honest feedback allowed me to recognize something within myself that I wanted to improve. The love and connection we shared during that moment exemplify an essential element of spiritual relationships: supporting each other's growth toward becoming our best selves. This involves valuing our partner's soul and investing in their personal development, rather than just satisfying our own needs.
Monica Berg, a spiritual teacher, and the author describe a soul mate relationship as a partnership in which both individuals work together to shape their ideal selves. When we address our partner's needs and work towards mutual growth, we benefit not only ourselves but also our partner and the relationship as a whole.
Consider using the prompts above to start a conversation about your relationship, but approach the discussion with an open heart and a desire to develop together. Constructive feedback can help us identify areas for growth and bring us closer together as we support each other's journeys. Ultimately, working towards growth and development in a relationship can lead to a deep, soul-to-soul connection with our partner as we help each other become our best selves.
Building a spiritual relationship involves a commitment to something greater than just the two of you. It involves having compassion for the world and a desire to make a positive impact. By sharing beyond yourselves, especially with those you don't know, you tap into an energy of endlessness where fulfillment is infinite and has no limits. The ripple effect of your kindness and generosity can spread far beyond what you can see. When couples use their union to make a difference in the world, the energy they create generates perpetuity that never disappears.
As Karen Berg, an author and spiritual teacher, suggests, soul mates walk hand in hand but face outwards into the world. It is important to dedicate some of your time together to finding ways to share with others and make a positive impact on the world.
Developing a shared vision and purpose is a crucial aspect of fostering a more spiritual and mindful relationship. It involves being receptive to your partner's views and asking questions that can help you both determine what spirituality signifies to you. Some questions that can facilitate this process include: What do you think is the primary intention or purpose of our relationship? How can we manifest it in our daily lives together? What are your personal beliefs regarding spirituality and religion? How would you like to engage with your spirituality? Finally, what are some shared practices that we can create to align with our shared values and beliefs?
How can we navigate differences in spirituality with our partners?
It's not uncommon for couples to have varying levels of spiritual connection or different beliefs, and this can pose a challenge. However, it's not necessarily a deal-breaker. Embracing and celebrating each other's differences is itself a spiritual practice. It's important to focus on finding common ground and shared values that can deepen your connection and sense of meaning together. Remember, personal growth and evolution need not be exclusively defined by spirituality, and reframing the language around these concepts can make them more accessible.
The key is to nourish the spiritual intimacy between you and your partner, which will allow your souls to merge more closely. This creates a powerful energy of love that can positively impact the world around you. By committing to a shared purpose and vision, engaging in meaningful conversations, and investing in each other's growth, you can build a conscious, spiritual relationship that uplifts both you and those around you.
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